Nothing To Boast About,

There are many times that when I think of my past, there is nothing to be proud of. What I mean is how I lived my sinful life. I life now that I am reaping what I have sown. Yesterday I did something without thinking that my son said, "I want to do that." I explained to my son that when I was 13 I learned that. He was like, well dad I am 15 and so I can try that. I told him no son. I am not proud of the things I know and know to do, especially when my son is watching. And when I think of other things, there just ain't nothing to boast about. He told me, dad you were 13 when you started work. And I quickly reminded him that my school work suffered and eventually dropped out. He doesn't understand that he don't need to work. I want him to learn schooling rather then having to suffer later. I have broken my finger, and broken both ankles I almost killed a man when I was 18 and was on a quick road to death my self. Nothing to boast about though. I am not proud of the way I spoke before. I am not proud that words pop in my head that shouldn't be there. I am not proud of what I have done and the people I have hurt. I remember staring into a heart broken father when he realized what kind of thief I was. Even yesterday my pastor said that probably no one here has been in jail. A sat there thinking I have. And I was ashamed for that. I am not proud of that. I wonder why did I not restrain my self. And why now even now that I am saved, why I i struggle. Why so depressed. Why so much questioning of what I am doing. I am not boasting nothing, I am regretting.  I guess I am just rambling. I do know this,  so glad Jesus didn't give up on me. THANK YOU LORD!